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You Just Can't Without a Heart"I don't even know where to begin..." John started, pacing the room in front of Sherlock, who was sitting in his arm chair, legs pulled to his chest and his eyes trained on John. "...I mean... You left for a week! I didn't know where in bloody hell you were and I was worried sick! I though someone had you, or worse, I thought you were dead!"
"John..." Sherlock started, his voice low and almost quiet. It was so uncharacteristically like Sherlock to be quiet.
"Stop," John cut him off, holding his hand out to stop Sherlock. "Can you just tell me where you've -been-?!"
Sherlock shook his head, looking down at the floor.
"And why -not-, Sherlock?" John asked, stopping in front of him and crossing his arms, looking at Sherlock down his nose.
"Because, John, I just.... Just can't..." Sherlock said slowly, standing and walking over to John, placing a hand on his arm and getting closer. "Can you understand."
"N-no! I c-can't!" John forced out, shoving the rapid heart rate and struggled breathin
SH: Experimenting With Sherlock Pt1
Experimenting With Sherlock Part 1
References to A Scandal in Belgravia
"Why hellooo, brother of mine."
John cringed at the sarcastically cheery voice, one hand running nervously through Sherlock's hair. "Yes, hello Harry. What's going on?"
"Oh, you should've seen what the morning post brought me," Harriet replied gleefully. "Now I know why you haven't called about Christmas yet. Been too busy buggering your flatmate."
Old pain flared, the kind that festered in the subconscious for years. "If you just called to-," John began hotly, but Harriet cut him off.
"Well, funny thing about my paper. It's in this envelope, see." John frowned as a loud whump sounded over the line. "And that was me dropping the envelope in the post."
The knot of fear tightened in John's stomach. "So?"
"Posted to mum."
"What?!" John sat up so quickly he nearly toppled over. He scrambled out of the bed, pacing into the main room and back again. Sherlock
SH: Researching With Sherlock Pt1
Researching With Sherlock Part 1
Warning: references drug use
"Not my fault, Sherlock," John reminded him placidly. He hitched his paper higher so he wouldn't have to see Sherlock furiously crawling over the furniture.
"Are there no criminals left? Surely more are born every day, every hour!"
"This is what hobbies are for." John coughed politely. "And not the kind where you put severed bits of corpses around your flat. Real hobbies."
"Oh, like your blog?" Sherlock sneered. "Rubbish."
John peeked over the paper-shield, mildly offended. "Hey now. That blog gets you your clients at times. You shouldn't make light of it."
He gasped as there was a rush of air, the paper ripped from his hands before Sherlock settled heavily on his lap. John swallowed nervously; this was a strange new habit of his friend's as of the last few days. Sherlock was usually content to invade his personal space, but avoid touching. Now, Sh
SH: Bonding With Sherlock Pt1
Bonding With Sherlock Part 1
"Best Christmas ever!" Harriet collapsed across the leathered seat in the back of the car, then grinned sheepishly when Sherlock and John turned in tandem to glare at her. "Well- Well, except for all the horrible bits. But there were less horrible bits than usual, weren't there Jonny? And Sherlock playing! I'd marry him for his violin!"
"And divorce him for the severed head in the freezer," John grinned, laughing when Harriet's face went from ecstatic to horrified. "Yes, it's true. We've a head that's been in the freezer for how many months now?"
"Nearly seven months. I've taken to calling him Lester."
There was a moment of silence, then a long, drawn-out "Ewwwwwwwwww!" had John chuckling again. Sherlock huffed in disdain.
"It's a perfectly reasonable experimentation about the effects of-,"
"No, no. Don't get started on that, you'll traumatise her."
Sherlock's mouth curled in a sardonic
SH: Confronting With Sherlock Pt1
Confronting With Sherlock Part 1
A whispered rustle on the sheet.
Before he could think, John's mind reacted, body running through trained responses.
Upright angle of intruder highly dangerous.
Weapon likely protect throat.
Elbow jab roll to the right.
Visual confirmation unarmed.
Assume defensive position by-
John froze halfway off the bed, breathing heavily as he stared, dark shapes swimming into view. It took a few seconds of concentrated effort to tamper down the line of instinct.
Then he pitched forward toward the moaning figure.
"Sherlock I'm so sorry, I'm not usually a twitchy sleeper- well, not nowadays- are you okay?"
"P-Perfectly fine," Sherlock coughed hoarsely, his lop-sided smile thoroughly unconvincing.
"Where'd I hit you? Oh god, are you alright? You sound terrible." John patted him down quickly, searching for an obvious wound.
"Neck," Sherlock wheezed, then waved away John's searching fingers.
SH: Confronting With Sherlock Pt8
Confronting With Sherlock Part 8
Harriet met them just outside the toilet, eyes wide and worried as she darted forward and gripped John's hand.
"Are you okay? Jonny, are you alright I heard- Well I didn't hear but knew and-,"
"Fine, I'm fine." John squeezed her in a quick hug.
"'Fine'!" Harriet frowned, wrinkling her nose. "'Fine' with you means the exact opposite! Are you okay?"
Sherlock frowned, carefully watching John shake his head.
"Right, well, I'll be okay. I feel better, actually. Is dessert over?" he added hopefully. "Getting on to the gifts and music?"
Harriet nodded warily. "Mum's gone upstairs but everyone's back in the front room now. Are you sure-,"
A cough sounded behind them, and all three turned to glare at the intruder. Howard stood half-hidden by the shadows, his mouth set in a grim line. "Excuse me, but I've something to say to you three."
Sherlock stiffened immediately, and John was amused to note he stepped lightly
SH: Confronting With Sherlock Pt6
Confronting With Sherlock Part 6
John slammed his head against the wall, eyes closed as he sucked in a violent breath.
"Don't!" John released the breath slowly, hands fisting at his sides. Then he dared to open his eyes, both charmed and infuriated by the adorably confused expression. "Sherlock, I'm going to ask you a question. I don't want you complaining that it's a stupid question, or that it's obvious, or whatever bullshit runs through your head. I want you to answer my question."
" Yes, John."
So far, so good. "Sherlock, do you know what being someone's fiancé means?"
John swallowed a sharp retort. "What's it mean, then?"
Sherlock's hands fidgeted, jaw working once or twice before replying. "That both persons have agreed to be legally bound in marriage or civil partnership."
"Yes. Quite. So " John exhaled slowly again. "Why on God's green Earth did you say you're my fiancé?<
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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